Living He Loved Me

One day when Heaven was filled with His praises
One day when sin was as black as could be
Jesus came forth to be born of a virgin
Dwelt among men, my example is He
Word became flesh and the light shined among us
His glory revealed

Living, He loved me
Dying, He saved me
Buried, He carried my sins far away
Rising, He justified freely forever
One day He’s coming
Oh glorious day, oh glorious day

One day they led Him up Calvary’s mountain
One day they nailed Him to die on a tree
Suffering anguish, despised and rejected
Bearing our sins, my Redeemer is He
Hands that healed nations, stretched out on a tree
And took the nails for me

One day the grave could conceal Him no longer
One day the stone rolled away from the door
Then He arose, over death He had conquered
Now He’s ascended, my Lord evermore
Death could not hold Him, the grave could not keep Him
From rising again

One day the trumpet will sound for His coming
One day the skies with His glories will shine
Wonderful day, my Beloved One, bringing
My Savior, Jesus, is mine

I've been thinking about two things today: Newness and Mud. And this is what came to my heart. So when my over thinking self comes to a conclusion, maybe I'll know how those two things connect and how this beautiful song fits with it all.

New

This is what unpacking looks like. But I'm proud to report that I am making a dent in it.

It's kinda crazy how hard it is for me to deal with "new." As much as I love new, countries, places, people, adventures, opportunities (I bet you get the point) I'm shy.

Yep. I'm shy. Right now I'm sitting in my room writing a long overdue blog update instead of meeting new people.

Now don't get me wrong, it's great to know all of you are reading my blog, and it's cool to be part of your lives.. or more you a part of mine. But that is really no reason to not meet new people and enjoy new lives.

And it's just because I'm scared. I'm not as "go-getter" as some people think, and for sure, if you think I'm brave, rethink. I'm not.

But the reason that I bring this all up isn't to down grade myself. I will get courage soon and I will go talk to those people. But because I wanted to point out something about love.

I've read, reread, and then read again 2 Corinthians 4-6. I just couldn't find what I knew my heart was looking for. I just couldn't figure out what I was to learn. Then something stood out to me: "So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal." (4:18)

The reason I am who I am, a girl who travels to random countries, many times by herself...a photojournalist who asks lots of questions...a connector who longs to see other's visions of advancing the Kingdom of Heaven come to light... is not because I'm a "go-getter."

It's because long ago, my parents introduced me to Love: Jesus. They showed me that loving those who Jesus died for was more important than anything. Doing that--loving--is fixing my eyes on what is unseen.

No matter where you are, no matter your personality, people are what will last forever. So in the midst of my "new" the call is the same. Letting love overcome. These people are worth getting to know. And you never know, maybe someday I'll get to write their stories. Now that would be pretty darn amazing.

ana|senior

Over the last year of living back in the States, I’ve been given many gifts. One of the greatest has been getting to know Ana.

Ana works at the same coffee shop as I do, she’s funny, smart, full of life.

Friday, I was able to take Ana’s senior pictures. I’m truly amazed at the striking beauty that radiates from her. We had so much fun doing this last minuet shoot before I move and I’m oh so happy we were able to!

We took off after I closed up shop and headed off to find some old buildings and open fields. We did a pretty good job, especially since we've both lived here our whole lives. We should do a good job.

There is no doubt that she is one of the main things I will miss about my life the last year.

I look forward to seeing you at Christmas pretty girl!

[this is my adventure]

This is my adventure

Which I haven't found yet

The feeling of a feeling

That I have still yet to get

Glow on the horizon

Before I see the sun

A subtle hint of springtime

Before the winters gone

This is the quiet moment

Before I catch my breath

The hope for something better

That I don't quite forget

This is my adventure

Which I haven't found yet

I remember the first time I read that. It made me wonder. Now, almost 2 years later it still does.

I am starting out on a new adventure. I'm beginning a new season.

It's coming in one week.

I'm moving. To "the city," starting a new job, looking for a new church, and living in a different way. I'm moving on to the something else God has for me.

But I can't lie. I'm scared. Yet excited at the same time. Change is beautiful, but hard. I will miss my family, I will miss my costumers at work. I'll miss seeing stars at night. But this adventure, the one that is coming, the one I haven't lived yet, is what I long for. It's beautiful.

God has opened doors, He has made plans, He has set it all into motion. I'm never going to stop being amazed at all He does.

My Life as a Criminal

I’m laughing. Really. So everyone, laugh.

It cracks me up how small my town is. Everyone knows everyone. Well, at least everyone knows either my dad or my grandparents. Occasionally it’s my mom who’s at fault, but normally it’s the other three. And that is where my story begins.

I was driving home on Labor Day (bad idea I know.) from a wonderful weekend with my cousin Skylar. Just that morning, we had gone to Hobby Lobby and talked about how horrible it would be to speed on Labor Day and get caught. Pretty much can’t do any talking to get out of that. And thus, with this in the back of my mind I started home. It was a four-hour drive. Not bad really, but we had had a great weekend, and being thoroughly sunburned I was pretty tired.

Just for the record, I wasn’t speeding people. Not all the way home. I mean, I do speed sometimes, you know rarely. But I do ok at following the law. So here is my case: I was tired. I was sunburned. And I just wasn’t paying attention. No reason for a ticket right?? Well I guess the officer didn’t agree. And well as Sky and I decided earlier, I got “it” stuck to me.

I was mad. I didn't yell and get dramatic but I was mad. And I informed my dad that if he was going to raise me like him, I was going to get in trouble, and I was not going to be happy with him.

Well to make a long story short, my parents left town. Just up and left, and I had this great horrible thing of having to pay a great amount of money for my great crime.[Yep, that many "greats"] So I sulked into the Judges office ready to give away my life savings. But much to my horror and everyone else’s amusement, the judge walked out of his office, recognized me immediately as my dad’s daughter and said, “What in the world are you getting a ticket for?”

Well it’s written there in black and white. His response was just, “Coming into town?” Yes.

As I proceeded to pay my bill, he stopped me. “How would you like to do community service and save your money?” Considering it’s pretty much all I have, I would do anything. Little did I know how much I would be the maker of every one in the courthouse day.

So early last Wednesday, I walked into the courthouse ready for my punishment. I was assigned to the auditor’s office. Did you know I know everyone in that office, I mean everyone? And if I didn’t know them, they knew me? And did you know they do their far share of speeding in that same area, and haven’t gotten caught? Or that they all enjoyed laughing at me? Did you know I didn’t mind one bit doing their “dirty” work? It was actually fun. But I was oh so happy to be let off with half a day less than first required. And I was oh so happy that I’ve now paid my debt to society and am back in good standing.

My life as a criminal was short. And I actually enjoyed it. Really the humor in it only counts if you were there—Watching me take out the trash and tell everyone how I got half demoted half promoted from reporter to file lady by being tired. Well it was funny.

My advice: don’t speed when you come into my hometown. You should be safe.

Of Jesus and Suffering

I've been reading a book lately called Humanitarian Jesus: Social Justice and the Cross by Christian Buckley and Ryan Dobson. It's been convicting to say the least.

As a humanitarian and social activist, but first a passionate follower of Jesus Christ, I've often struggled with meeting the overwhelming needs of the world AND sharing the wonderful gospel that will meet the greatest need--eternity. There are always questions about lines that should or shouldn't be crossed, there are always toes to be stepped on and opportunities to be passed up.

But the great question to me has always been: is it right? Is it right to not step over the line and share the gospel, is it right to step on toes and take care of physical needs when you are "suppose to" be sharing the gospel? Is it right to pass up an opportunity to share Christ when you are there to give clean water, teach English or even rescue from slavery?

I can't think of how many times I've heard the verse "For I was hungry and you gave me something to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me something to drink, I was a stranger and you invited me in, I needed clothes and you clothed me, I was sick and you looked after me, I was in prison and you came to visit me." (Matthew 25:35-36) as the reason Christians should be socially active. It's as if this verse is the heart of Jesus, meeting the needs of people to show them the gospel by loving as Christ loved.

I agree.

But today, I want to leave something to think about, did Jesus always heal? Did Jesus always fix the needs to have people follow him? Was it Jesus goal to take away physical pain and suffering of this world before eternity comes?

"The Spirit of the Lord is on me, because he as anointed me to preach the good news to the poor. He has sent me to proclaim freedom for the prisoners and recovery of sight for the blind, to release the oppressed, to proclaim the year of the Lord's favor." (Luke 4:18-19)

When it comes right down to it, I'm thinking about the order of Christ's purpose. I'm thinking about the main reason Jesus came. What does that mean for my purpose? What does that mean about the church's purpose?

And when the answers come, is there boldness to actually take the action needed?

Home Alone

You know, I'm not a fan of being alone. I love people much to much.

When I was living in Taiwan, I had an amazing roommate. But as it happened she had some health problems and for several weeks I was without a roommate. One day, I was shocked out of my skin when I was talking to my team leader Davina, in her room and suddenly, her roommate, Sarah, came walking in with my mattress. It was probably the best gift I could have been given right then. Being alone in my room had really been wearing on me, and I needed to be sleeping in Sarah and Davina's room. I love them to this day for it.

I bring this up just because I'm now once again in a room alone. This time I'm okay with it. But what I'm pushing through for the next several days is my loving parents are off on their 25th wedding anniversary cruse. I'm so glad they got to go.... and I'm home alone with the other 5 children.

Let's just say that I really love my parents and I'm SO grateful for them. And to make it a little better I'm keeping a quote log:

"Lana, I'll help you clean up the kitchen!!"

"Lana! You're WRONG! MOMMA does put wipes in the toilet!"

"If I work ahead then I don't have to do ANY school ever again! Right??"

"Alana, your macaroni and cheese wasn't too bad today."

"I want to sit on your lap, no beside you, no on your lap, no beside you. I don't like you!!!"

"I'm sorry, lana, sorry lana, sorry lana. I'll sit on my potty now. I'm sorry lana."

"Where's the lellow broom lana? I'll sweep. Oh I wanna play with my truck!"

"PEACHES!!"

And that's all for now. God is the giver of grace, and well I'm grateful. I'm also grateful for running. And that kids say things that make you have to laugh out loud. That's pretty wonderful too!

-The Nomad