Wednesday, March 16, 2011

change

Making art from art. I'm not sure if it's legit, but it helps my point for the post :)
There are times when songs get stuck in my head. "Change in the Making" by Addison Road has been floating around today.

Theres a better version of me
That I cant quite see
But things are gonna change
Right now Im a total mess and
Right now I'm completely incomplete
But things are gonna change
Cause youre not through with me yet

This is redemptions story
With every step that I'm taking
Every day, you're chipping away
What I dont need
This is me under construction
This is my pride being broken
And every day I'm closer to who Im meant to be
I'm a change in the making

I can't even begin to say how much there is to write about. I pretty much dropped off the face of the earth right before I few back to the States, so here I am to resurface and let you all know I've not decided to run away and never come back.

The last three weeks of my life have been indescribably hard, great, fantastic, wonderful, ugly and beautiful. Yes, all those things. I don't even think I could give the bullet points before blogger would tell me it was too long to post ;)

But really, life has been overwhelming.

And thank God, He's not finished with me. He's not finished with my destiny, my heart, my life.

He has me under construction. He is digging deep in my heart and pulling out things that have needed to be gone for a long time.

God has also been giving me great gifts. Like celebrating my best friend's marriage to the man of her dreams, my family coming in this weekend, dropping my little sister off at the airport for her incredible adventure to Alaska. Crying over pictures and seeing God give me the vision I need.

I'm convenced, at times it's the gifts that really push life over the edge to being overwhelming.

And so, there is much to write about. Like adjusting to the States again and the lessons I've been learning on that front, or what it means to endure, or about the wedding (*happiness*) or my next move, or what I've been learning about letting go, or Japan and how it has effected my outlook on life.

So. Much.

I'm a change in the making. And I take great comfort in creativity of my Abba. At times, life just seems like a bunch of useless colors, running around in zig zag lines, never seeming to be creating anything. Little do I know just how wonderful of an artist God is. He can take what seems worthless and make it beautiful.

That, is what it is to create change.