circumstances

I know it's been a long time since I last wrote. I've been meaning to get back to this, really I have. But I have to admit I'm really afraid of writing. It sounds silly, I know, but I am. Never in a thousand years would I have thought that to come to the place of contentment and happiness and then telling the world about it would open the door for Satan to really attack me. But it did.

Right now I feel like a bird with a broken wing that little boys are throwing rocks at. It's painful, this thing called life. In just two weeks everything I knew went out the window. I became undone. I pretty much failed.

But today I guess you could say things are "looking up"--whatever that means. Basically I'm moving on. The last couple of weeks circumstances have become my greatest burden. I'v fallen flat on my face. The attack and resulting stress has even made my usual love of food vanish. But today I've overcome my circumstances. Because my God is great enough to do this for me. He is giving me so much love and grace, I can see the finish line. Well, the finish line for this part of the race. And I'm going to make it. By the power of the Almighty I will make it.

I know this attack is not over. But the thing is, the evil one can't win, my Jesus has already. I don't know if I will ever be abel to write about my time spent broken on my face. I do know that God is giving me testimony right now. I do know He is cementing my beliefs. So when I do start writing about my soon coming amazing summer adventures, you can know that I've made it across the finish line. And if I start writing about all I've been learning, before the summer adventures, you can know I was able to walk, not just crawl across the line. But if that time never comes, know that Jesus is still my lover, He is still my all, and if it weren't for Him you wouldn't have ever heard from me on here again.

Sometimes, my friends, the whole picture is never meant to be seen.

alana