Easter Week

I sit here tonight Asian style, praying. It's pretty terrific really.

I'm praying through life. I'm praying through upcoming trips, I'm praying through where God is leading me. I'm asking for grace for new deep wounds, and for healing to come again.

And then I I'm just praying. Just sitting with God.

This week is the week we celebrate the wonder of what our Maker has done for us. I could write a book about it if I had the time.

This week, 2000 years ago, Jesus, the pure and perfect one died. But He did not stay dead. He CAME BACK TO LIFE! And He lives today!

This is the reason I sit with God. Because the wonder of the beauty of what Jesus has done for me has come back tonight.

I read 1 Corthians this morning. This stood out "All God's promises are 'yes' in Christ..."

The reason this verse can be is because Jesus loved me enough to make me holy. He died for me.

That is the most beautiful thing. My Savior loving me so much He died for me. Him taking my punishment so justice could be satisfied and I could be free.

Beautiful.

Thank you Jesus.

The Great Beach Reach

Results. It’s something that I looked for when I was reading over my journals for Beach Reach. I can’t say that I found what I was looking for. But when I stopped looking I found so much more. It’s kinda crazy how that oxymoron works.
I found that my perspective of beauty had changed. I found that I want to love the unlovable, because I learned how to stop “me” love and start letting Him love. I found that God gives potential to every person; my job is to find it, and see them with His eyes. I realized all the more how just my God is along with His love and mercy.

I read the prayers that showed how He had broken my heart. I thought back over how what I had seen before had become so much clearer to me. I saw more about how sovereign my God is. I cried for the innocent and defiled. I learned how to pray differently. I felt how much I had been hurt my own people, and how God used that hurt to bring a desire for healing.
When I went to Beach Reach I desired a new heart. I came home with just that. So in a way I did get a result. But putting all that God did—through van rides, beach sharing, pancake breakfasts and beach clean up, into the word result would be a gross understatement.

My friends, the Great I AM gave miracles, he reached out through His beloveds to touch the lives of the hurting, Trent, Edward, Sean, and Amy. Then He used them to touch my life

Like every other trip I’ve been on I walk away from this one different. I do walk away with a new heart for the innocent; I do walk away with new eyes for the unlovable. I am filled with courage to create change and waves. But no matter how much I have changed, I can still change some more. No matter how much I have shared Jesus love, I can still learn to share it more.

Beach Reach was a gift. It was painful. It was miraculous. It was beautiful. I’m thankful for the adventure. I’m thankful God wouldn’t let me get away with staying home. Because He did it—He broke my heart for what breaks His.

This is beauty.

Six hundred people total. Fifty young people crying out for this island. Thirty vans picking up anyone who needs a safe ride. Being gathered together in His name.
Beauty is loving the unlovable, caring when no one else does, staying up until all hours of the night picking up trash off a beach when few might notice. Beauty is sun burnt faces, hurting feet and broken hearts all because others need Truth.
Beauty is the indescribable, boundless love of Jesus Christ.

This is an adventure

I love adventure. I don't think that's a hard thing to figure out, I mean I moved overseas at 18. You kinda have to love adventure to do that. I blame my dad, he was the one who raised me like this anyway. He wanted me to be a seeker of Christ, and he wanted me to desire to bring people into the Kingdom of Heaven. Nothing really thrills me more than to be able to travel and see new things. I love meeting new people, and seeing more of the heart of Christ.

But there is something I don't like. I don't like not knowing what to expect. And basically that means I don't like to have to walk completely by faith. In two days I will be taking off on another trip. One that will have to be lived completely on faith. Yes, I have been given a run down on what will happen, I have been meeting to practice what I need to know. But I've never done anything like this--so it's scary. It's like I am starring in to a vast black tunnel and there is no light in sight. So I want to cover my eyes and just pretend that I'm in control...

Beach Reach. It's the name of a spring break ministry for South Padura Island. And in two days I will be climbing in a van and taking off to serve on this mission trip. I've heard about it, I've prayed for people who have gone on this trip before. But still, I've never done anything like this before, so I [and all my experience] don't know what to expect.

When I was in Manila, I met this little guy. He's an orphan. Hopefully he will soon be up for adoption. He was a kid who was full of life, 3 years old, but convinced that he is 15. He would act all macho, run across the room and slide on his knees to a stop in front of anyone he could impress. He would stand with his shoulders back and march like a soldier, then he would suddenly run and hang on to a black pole for dear life. He loves to cuddle, and give hugs, but it takes a little work to get him to give the first one. He reminds me of me.

It's easy to think I have it all figured out. I am a well traveled person after all. But I think that so many times God gives gifts of not knowing, or gifts of being scared to remind me that He alone is in control. My little friend in Manila is so brave when things are going his way, but really the place he loves the most is be loved on by someone who is willing to take over and lead him. I need to be that way for Beach Reach. I love it when I'm in control, but I want to love it more when I'm not in control. Because it would me I'm being cuddled close to my Jesus heart, and I don't have to do stunning moves to impress anyone.

It just takes faith to love, faith to see, faith to know God more. So my friends I'm asking for prayer. Please pray for me and my team as we head off, pray that I will have eyes to see. Pray that God will give me His heart. Pray that I will know how to love and follow the Spirt's leading. Pray that the God who is the Great I AM will come and make Himself real to these people. Pray for safety, pray for health. It's going to be a insane week. But I'm excited for the results. They will be worth it, no matter the adventure it will take to get to them.

'That Theory' part 1/2

I’ve been thinking this morning about that theory I mentioned a few posts back. Well, it’s not one of those theories that can be put into a paragraph; its better title would be ‘ramblings of my heart.’

And as I’ve been thinking about it, I’ve done something that I think every Christian has done—put myself in Jesus’ parables. I like to retell the story and add details that I think would have been there on the day it took place like suspense just because I know what the end of the story is (the good guy wins). Yes, I know I have an overactive imagination, but hang in there with me, I want to share with you the way the Parable of the Good Samaritan played out in my mind. [based on Luke 10:25-37]

Hello! I’m just a normal everyday Jewish man living in the city of Jerusalem. Really, there is nothing that special about me, I work, love my family, attend synagogue, and try to follow the law and serve Jehovah God. This is just a story of one of the days in my life out of many, but one that I think you would like to hear about.

One day, early in the morning, business required me to go to Jericho; it’s not far, but a quite treacherous journey really. So I did all that must be done in the morning, from scooting my boys off to school to praying and kissing my wife. I then packed my bags, and being the forgetful me, couldn’t find my walking sandals, so I scurried around the house looking for them. Of course by then, you can imagine I’m much later than I intended, so after stopping to talk to just a few friends on my way out the gate, I was off at a canter for Jericho.

It was an uneventful trip, really, I kept an eye out for robbers, but none were around. Until, suddenly something eventful did happen. You see I was walking along when my senses came to high alert. I started looking around, slowly creeping by each rock so nothing would jump out at me. The bend in the road became my worst enemy. Fear had my pulse racing! I rounded the bend, and saw them. Buzzards. They were flying circles, and inching up to something that was lying on the side of the road. I came close and saw it was a man. Beaten, robbed and left for dead. At that moment, as the smell overwhelmed me, I covered my face, moved over as far as I could and walked right on by…..

And that was when my mind came to a screeching halt. Wait! Hold it! I know how this story ends!

I wanted to be the Samaritan. I wanted to be the one who Jesus wanted me to be. I wanted to make myself feel good. But I was the Levite. I passed by the needy, the hurting, and the lost.

So today, the deep pondering of my heart is this: What if I’m so busy trying to dissect Jesus’ teaching and figure out how to make it work in my life today that I’m missing out on what He is really saying. What if I’m “doing good” simply because I’m “not doing bad” and I’m not even recognizing that there is a desperate cry from the darkness for me—us followers of Jesus Christ—to rescue them.

I do want to make it clear that I’m not beating myself up. Soon, when I work up my courage, I’ll share what it is that I have been passing by. But, like my good friend and mentor, Christina, said, “Deep pondering is often painful, but always necessary.”

In Honor of Robin Hood and Mind-Blowing Realizations

(Warning: This post may will include some large amounts of exaggeration)

I’ve done a very good job in my life of hiding. I like doing it actually, especially if I have help. I don’t really remember when this story took place, maybe later Jr. high. My family went to this birthday party of a good friend. The main attraction: Dad’s vs. Kids Hide and Seek.

Great I know. Hey! Stop laughing I had fun!

It took place in the backyard of the inviter’s home, and by that I mean it was probably a big enough backyard to have a battle in. No joke. This time.

This battlefield was lined with a dark forest that had snakes hanging from trees with dead branches, cobwebs and such. Real Robin Hood all right. The point of the game was to not be found, (and now you may roll your eyes and say “no duh”) because obviously, I’m not a dad, and they were the ones doing the seeking.

So to begin this adventure, the boys put on there most camouflaged outfits, grease painted their faces and grabbed their highest performing weapons: pocket knives. The girls buttoned their coats against the cold, put on hats and gloves and grabbed their pocketknives as well. What can I say, “we were all from the Texas and Oklahoma Panhandles?”

At the firing of a shotgun into the air, we took off. Across the battlefield, into the dense forest, avoiding the snakes and all that other stuff. And to be sure we weren’t found, we stayed in groups of three. I’m not sure how this would help us out since we were giggly kids who like to talk. I’m serious, most of the people at that party would rather tell a good story [or create one by getting found] than eat dinner. I did not fall into this category. I was NOT going to be found.

But not to worry! [said in my best Robin Hood voice] I had good partners in crime. My sharp shooting, built in compass, life-saving sister Sarah was there for backup and our trusty, and grossly more knowledgeable sidekick, Daniel Fagala, was pulling up the rear. With our mission titled “Become Invisible” before us, we found ourselves a fantastic hiding place. Well actually it was three hiding places.

Pulling rank I decided to hide first. So like a good mission accomplish person, I covered myself with leaves as I was lying oh so still on the ground, okay! So Sarah and Daniel were the ones covering me, but in my defense I was laying still! And I hid.

And I wasn’t found. In fact I was the only one who wasn’t found.

Sarah and Daniel came close, but not quite. I waited until after the second firing of the shotgun to come out. I won the prize for being the quietest: a burnt shriveled-up bottom-of-the-pot hotdog. Because everyone else had beat me back to the house and took all the others. But I was hungry so it was good. The end.

Well, almost. I am good at hiding. I can keep myself quiet, and away from everything and everyone when I want to. But I guess today I wondered if it is because I’m out to win a game or just because I’m scared.

Because I’m scared. I don’t want people to find me because I’m scared. Realization is a hard thing. But one thing for sure, it is mind opening.

And I wonder, how is this new realization going to help me in the future. I mean, other than becoming a super spy, I would have to maybe change a little to live this life. Who knows? God usually does something.

::Backlog:: Nepal-Kawasoti Day One

January 15, 2010

To my dearest brother Caleb, and my good friend Josh,

You two are people that I spend a significant amount of time wishing I could be like. And I wished again today.

I know in a way you both know the feeling, the feeling of high because something is new—the joy in seeing people differently. That’s the feeling I have today.

It’s our first day in Kawasoti, we arrived last night and woke this morning to something new. New room, new people, new breakfast table, new coffee, new thoughts, new cold weather, new definition of time.

It’s crazy what all has gone on today. Like how cold the showers were this morning. And how weird it is to have to walk to an Internet café to be able to check Facebook—if it will even load. Sometimes it doesn’t, or there’s not electricity. Either one.

Then there are how many people I met today, and how many of them looked at me with big eyes as they sat on the floor, men on one side, women on the other, like I had something important to tell them. When the conference stared they welcomed us with so much hospitality, putting lei’s around our necks, and huge ‘winner’ nametags on our jackets. We were even given chairs to sit in. I felt so different.

That’s when it happened. That’s when I started wishing. I wished I could go up to those guys who were my age and say hi, I wished I wanted to talk to people. I wished to be the same and have to sit on the floor. I wished for the courage to just go and sit on the floor.

I will always be amazed at how you, Josh, can make someone feel like a million dollars because you care enough to give a 30 second amount of time that makes people know they have a friend in this world. I will always stand in awe of how cool it is, Caleb that you can make people feel so comfortable around you they forget 11 hours and 45 minutes and several thousands of miles separate you. And for both of you, I wish I could see people so much for who they really are, I would choose to love no matter my own fears.

So tonight when we went on a walk to this great little café and drank the best Nepali tea and I failed epically at talking to and encouraging our host, I thought of you guys. If I could pick the courage of two people in this world, I would pick yours. And if I could ask for a bigger heart I would ask for the heart you guys have.

I miss you both today.

Alana